Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Ugly Truth

About a month prior to Ethan's birthday my husband and I decided to start trying for baby number two. If you know me, you probably know that I want house full of kids (four to be exact). Also if you know me, you probably know that I already have a timeline set for when these children will be making their appearance in our lives. I'm type A. I can't help it. I'd prefer not to have multiple birthdays in the same month or during the holidays and really January or February wouldn't be ideal either because they are cold and dreary. Silly me thought I could control this. Hi, I'm Laura, and I'm a control freak. So when September went by with unsuccessful results I was sort of bummed. No biggie though...we didn't give it our all. There would be next month and everything would still fit in my timeline.


I decided to start charting again which within one month brought us Ethan. I had charted sporadically since the summer just to see if everything was back to normal. It wasn't. I had always had a predictable 28 day cycle, but I noticed that things were going longer than normal around 30+ days. I figured this wasn't too big of a deal. Lots of people have longer cycles with no issues. 


So we tried again in October with the charting method and I just knew I would be pregnant. In the back of my mind I had a twinge of doubt. Something felt off. I took a pregnancy test right before heading to Knoxville for my friends birthday on day 28 and saw a very faint plus sign. I was pregnant. It didn't seem right though, I was having a bad feeling about the whole ordeal. Five days passed and then I started my period. 


I immediately started doing some research and figured out I had a short luteal phase. In fact I had been having a short luteal phase since that summer. A luteal phase is the time between when ovulation occurs and when you start your period. You are suppose to have at least 10-12 days of a luteal phase in order to keep a pregnancy. Mine had been about 8 days long the past few months. According to my book this indicated I had low progesterone. I figured this was easily solvable and decided to call my doctor. The next month would not be a wasted month. Time was ticking.


The receptionist proved to be less than helpful. I asked for a nurse but was the receptionist asked I explain the situation to her. I get it they don't want to waste the nurses time. I explained that I had a positive pregnancy test, then I started my period and I wanted to speak to someone about options on how to prevent this from happening next time. The answer I got was "Nothing. We can't stop your period." Awesome. Thanks for your help there.  I proceeded to tell her I knew this but wanted to know more information about what was going on and she told me I could come in for a blood test. Great. A solution.


I called back a couple of days later to ask for the blood test results and the nurse simply said "You aren't pregnant but you can try again this month." I had already gathered this from the fact that I had started my period obviously so I refused to let this be the end of the conversation. I told her I had been charting and about my short luteal phases and my concern of low progesterone after which she suggested I come back in again around day 21 of this last cycle for another blood draw to test the progesterone levels. I was happy. This was it. My solution. (At this point I feel like I should also tell you that I love my doctor and am hoping that a lot of my issues stated above were simple miscommunications...everyone has their days.)


I hopped on amazon immediately after that phone call and bought an ovulation predictor kit so I could doubly make sure that we would hit the correct days. 


Everything went as planned this month. I got the smiley face on the OPK stick which also corresponded to my chart information. We definitely hit our peak days. I went back in for my progesterone test and everything came back normal, but when my temperatures spiked for the luteal phase I noticed they weren't very high, barely above the cover line. I remember clearly with Ethan that they spiked way up and continued to go way up. Damn. Something wasn't right again.


I took two pregnancy tests one on day 28 and one on day 30. One line was all I got. I kept hoping that maybe, possibly, things would be okay. But it wasn't meant to be. Officially this morning my body let me know that this has been another wasted month and that I am in fact not pregnant. I researched again this morning about my luteal phase and it looks like my low temps also indicate low progesterone. 


I'm determined to make this month work. If we got pregnant this month we would have a September baby born one month before E would turn 2. Obviously my timeline and Gods timeline are not meshing. This does not sit well with me, but I am trying to come to terms with it. I am becoming a jealous woman as I see announcement after announcement of "Pregnant with number two!" and that's just not the sort of person I am. 




I think I'm having a Veruca Salt moment. 









I WANT A BABY AND I WANT IT NOW! 


I'd love to hear from anyone with previous similar experiences!


27 comments :

  1. I dont have any advice, just wanted to wish you luck. I know what it feels like to be a planner and not have things go according to your set plan. It's hard. Sometimes though, stress and planning can take a toll and mess things up.

    ~Laura

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  2. Hugs for you, friend.. I truly, really, from the deepest bottom of my heart hope that it happens soon for you- my cycles increased from 28-30+ days after I had Carter- I gave up charting and even my dates seemed to be off this pregnancy- going by my LMP, the baby initially measure 1.5 weeks smaller which I guess means I O'd much later than I thought? I'm still unclear about it all.. I know it's hard not to stress, especially when you want something so. freaking. badly. Try and relax as much as you can and know that we're thinking of you and sending EXTRA fertile baby vibes you way! XOXO! :)

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  4. I had low progesterone- we had no problem getting pregnant (really, it happened every. time.) but the low progesterone resulted in three early miscarriages (6-7 weeks) before we had our daughter (who just turned one). My doctor said it looked like low progesterone and prescribed Prometrium (200 mg/4xday) as soon as I got a positive pregnancy test. It worked like a charm- I had a textbook pregnancy. Just be persistent and make sure your doctor is taking your concerns seriously... maybe ask about progesterone supplements? Praying for you to get that baby!

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  5. oohhh goodness...I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I O late in my cycle and did when we got prego with Ads but I never knew that a short luteal phase could cause issues:/ I hope your dr. is able to get you what you need to help out with this. Hugs to you!!

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  6. I'm sorry you are going through all of this, but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It is frustrating when we can't control the situation, I definitely understand that. Hang in there.

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  7. I dont have advice. Wish I did!

    I can say that I am type A like yourself and want to plan and control it all.......I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I can't. But it makes me mad. And if I were in your position I would be having the same feelings you are.

    Keep us posted! You'll have baby #2 growing soon, I'm sure of that.

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  8. I wish I had an answer for you. It must be so frustrating knowing you can concieve and carry a baby to term. I fear that when we start thinking about number 2, we'll run into issues too! Hoping and praying you get that baby soon!

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  9. I can't relate to all of this, but I can relate to some of this, and well, I'm thinking of you.

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  10. Sending positive juju your way! Who knows maybe santa will bring you and extra special present this year?!

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  11. Praying for you! I know how hard and frustrating it is.

    We struggled getting pregnant with our first two, then my body magically (more like God miraculously) fixed itself. And our next two were wonderful surprises!!

    My doctor paired Clomid with Glucophage (which is a diabetic medicine, but somehow insulin production effects ovulation. It has also been shown to reduce the risk of miscarriage, so win/win). I also used progesterone suppositories. I also took a medicine (can't remember what right now) after a positive pregnancy test.

    I'll be praying and keep us updated!!

    Stacy

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  12. Positive vibes and wishes your way!!! XOXO

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  13. We struggled to get pregnant with W and are currently in the process again. Low progesterone sounds like the issue and quite easy to fix. I hope your doctors will work with you.

    Insulin is directly linked to reproduction so check your diet and make sure you get enough proteins.

    Prayers for you all!

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  14. I'm sorry, girl. :\ I hope it happens soon for you. I, too, am slightly jealous of all the announcements lately, but we are waiting a few more months before we start trying. I know we expect things to happen the way they did the last time - I do, too...and if we waited until a certain month to start trying, and it didn't work out, I, too, would be disappointed...so, I'm sorry you're going through that. God's timing *is* perfect. :)

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  15. Oh girl, I'm sure that's so hard!! I think I will be that same girl if I go through a phase where I can't get pregnant. If anything, I know it doesn't help right now, but look at that beautiful kid you have now & think of it as just more time you get to spend with just him. I'll be thinking about you!

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  16. I am with you on the wanting baby #2 (so so so bad), having my own timeline vs God's timeline, and the green jealous monster thing! I'm glad that we can use blogging to vent (though I cannot use mine because we are not telling people about my desperate wanting - :) so I use yours)

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  17. I've been told that vitamin B6 can help lengthen your luteal phase. I actually took it while trying to get pregnant. I don't think I had a short luteal phase, but I took it anyway b/c I'd had a miscarriage before Donut. I think you can also buy some OTC progesterone creams, but I don't think they have enough to help much. I'm not sure though as I never tried the creams.

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  18. I wish I had tips to share on charting, but J was a surprise and I am certainly not ready for #2. However, I've dealt with my fair share of hormone imbalances. I would call your doc again and seriously speak with her about your concerns with the progesterone. There ARE things they can do to help supplement your hormones if that is now an issue. And if {heaven forbid} the hormones become a real issue with TTC baby #2, an OB that has a specialization in endocrinology would be your best bet.

    I'll be praying that this month will be THE month!

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  19. Email me - that is all! But I sympathize, empathize and would love to chat.

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  20. Hugs! We want 4 also and had the timing all worked out. After one tubal, we had#1, and we have been trying in vain for almost a year for #2. Time is running out for us, and I am starting to be jealous,too, of the many many baby announcements. You are not alone, for sure.

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  21. My reasons for not being able to have a second baby right now are totally different, but I know how frustrating it can be to see everyone else pregnant when you want it so bad. It's tough.

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  22. Maybe try progesterone cream? A good friend of mine was having the same issues as you, except it went on for almost eight months. She tried rubbing progesterone in different spots and was pregnant within a month! Good luck with everything! Keeping my fingers crossed for you this month

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  23. You sound just like me! My cycles got all out of whack after Tyler - he's 13 months now. I want to just fix it. I got the book "Making Babies" and it's really helped a lot. I'd highly recommend it. You're for sure not alone!

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  24. I'm sorry girlie - you know I totally understand your frustration! As someone who has done A LOT of pregnancy research, I would highly recommend the book Making Babies. I won't write a novel on here, but it combines Eastern/Western medicine in easy to understand terms. There are lots of natural solutions (herbs, supplements, acupressure, etc) that naturally help things like a short luteal phase. It's completely natural, and stuff you could very easily do. Might be worth a shot :-)

    On a side note, I just finished it yesterday, so I will be writing about it today or tomorrow.

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  25. I just want to wish you the best of luck...

    I had fertility problems in the past. I went through a lot just to conceive. Finally, I got what I wanted for so long :)

    Keep the faith! :)

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  26. I had low progesterone issues with all of my pregnancies (but a ton of other issues as well so don't let that scare you). I was always given progesterone suppositories pretty early on which should have done the case (and would have, I believe, had that been my only issue. My good friend had low progesterone and was given some sort of cream that helped her sustain her first (and only so far) pregnancy. My advice? Stick to your guns. You know your body better than anyone else. Talk to you doc. I think there's even OTC items that might help if this is the issue.

    Sending you lots of baby vibes!!

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  27. I'm sorry! As a fellow Type A . . .I can relate. It's very frustrating. Both of my kids were conceived with some form of fertility procedures which threw the whole planning thing out the window! So much for that : )

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